CHILDREN HAVING CHILDREN:WHO TAKES THE BLAME?

Thinking estactically beyond my wildest dreams is the overwhelming thought of Abike,her radiant look sends cold shivers down my spine ,with her cute glowing smile,sometimes i wonder if Abike ever frowns ,even if she does,im sure a lot of people will take it for a smile...Not even her tribal marks will put you off at a first glance,her voluptous shape will surely make a married man take a close second look.i use to think only in the movies or magazines would you see a body this perfect but Abike proved me wrong,her full lips and sumptous breast were supported by her curvaceous figure eight.Abike is got the body of a godess!Then i remember sadly,this innocent girl is just seventeen years old oh,thats almost like a decade younger than me shaa..wellll,age is just a number jareee i thought hapilly to my self with a wicked smile on my face.it doesnt matter if im a century older than her or not as long as the chemistry is balanced and there is love and mutual understanding between us,im sure everything will work out fine and we will live hapilly ever after.....(see agbaya like me consoling my self oh).

Then i got thinking..........................

Do you know that one in three teen girls in Nigeria is estimated to get pregnant at least once before age 20?. Pregnancy has very important consequences for teen girls and teen boys, and their children. Having a baby as a teen makes it much harder for a boy or girl to reach their goals, such as finishing high school, going on touniversity, getting a good job, or getting married when they grow up, and poses additional challenges to the child as well.


Teenage pregnacy in Nigeria has shot up at an alarming rate in recent times,unlike in the past,when illitracy is blamed for the high number of teenegers getting pregnant,Nowadays,it is interesting to know that 65% of pregnant teenagers are either secondary school leavers or drop outs.it baffles one's mind when you see an adolescent carrying an offspring at their tender age,you start to wonder how these "Kids" who are still under parental care are getting ready to become parents.In the Afican traditional society that we live in,it is always a thing of joy and hapiness to bear offsprngs and add to the family but in cases where its a child who is heavy with child,it leaves a lot to be discussed.Different reasons have been pointed to why we have an increase in teenage pregnancy.Either its naivity on the girls part,parental lapse,Youthful exhuberance,peer pressure,sex education,rape,or what ever reasons that can be traced to unwanted pregnancies by teenagers,it leaves me to wonder who takes the blame for teenage pregnancy in our society?THE COMMUNITY,THE PARENT OR THE CHILD?


Gone are the days when teenagers shy away from talk related to the opposite sex.when such topics come up,they chuckle and giggle,trying to avoid discussions associated with the opposite sex or adult conversations.i remember my high school days,a particular topic in biology that gets me and my friends gingered up is REPRODUCTIOn.we snicker around happily with each one of us paying our undivided attention to the smallest of details to our best topic.Those of us that were really bad in Biological diagrams suddenly feel like Picasso when its time to draw a diagram of the reproductive organ.i raise up my hands to answer questions even before they were asked.no wonder i got an A in my Biology exam for WAEC!

It took me 22yrs 2 get my first kiss...playing truth or dare.Nowadays,the reverse is the case.most Teenagers,boys in particular are sexually active from ages 14-21.The global world has made it possible for young teenagers to know at their age more than we did when we were their age.The internet undoubtedly has played a very significant role in this aspect.A 19 year old kid this days,knows more about sex than i knew when i was their age back then.i mean,at 20,i was still filling condoms with water thinking it was a ballon!
Our educational sector have failed to provide a condusive environment for sex related issues to be discussed openly and extensively.i feel sex education should be introduced to the educational curriculum as it will go a long way in enlightening more people about issues related to this topic and make them know about the actual facts surrounding teenage pregnancies,sex and relationships.The problem really is we feel we know this kids too well,hence we turn a blind eye to these little yet important issue.we are higly mistaken to think these kids only learn what they are thought at home or in school,18yr old Bolanle whom mommy thinks is very shy and doesnt talk to boys is already in her 3rd relationship and has had 2 abortions already!i mean,its quite amazing how much these kids know nowadays because they know far more than they look.

Parenting is an essential aspect of teenage upbringing.I feel "we" are failing Nigerian adolescents when it comes to providing them with the basic information and services regarding teenage pregnancy and sexually-transmitted diseases, such as HIV. They need to delay marriage and avoid unintended pregnancies. whatever is taught at home by the parents becomes a part and parcel of the childs life in the foundation stage of their lives.Apart from certain moral imperatives which the parents are obliged to teach the child,various important issues are ignored and swept under the carpet.The parents atimes refuses to pay atttention 2 certain little details which benefits the child on the longrun.Teenagers are quite difficult people to deal with but that is not good enough an excuse to make for not teaching the essential aspects of life.weather we like it or not,the little things we as "parents" refuse to discuss with our child today,as times goes on,he or she will learn outside,either from a friend on the street,the internet or any other insecure source which in most cases leaves a mark on the child.It is better your child learn from you,what a condom means than finding out from the internet or a friend from school.In cases of teenage pregnancies,the female is the most affected,she suffers the emotional stress of carrying an unwanted baby at a tender age and may even think about abortion.Some teen pregnancies end in abortion. Abortions can have complications and there may be emotional consequences so these are no easy decisions to make as they determine the life of the girl.im not taking anything away from the parents who have done alot to give theri child that perfect upbringing,i just feel they are not doing enough stop teenage pregnancies,its about time they toughen up and take a firm stance.Once a girl is pregnant, there is no easy choice. The very best thing is to help your son or daughter avoid getting pregnant, or getting someone pregnant in the first place.

Finally,i believe in order to curb the excesses of teenage pregnancies in our society,we all need to contribute in one way or the other because neither the parent,the society nor the child can be soley blamed.i feel strongly,that in other to reduce the risks which adolesents go through when they are pregnant must begin at home and followed up from the community and educational enviroment.its okay if we all place the blame on the child but we should also have in mind that the emotional consequences of an unplanned pregnancy can be many and varies, but they need to be taken into consideration. The teen parents may experience guilt, shame, worry, anger, and any number of other feelings upon discovering the pregnancy. Then they’re faced with the decision of whether or not want to continue with the pregnancy and all the emotional consequences that entails. Teen mothers are more likely to suffer from depression and many teen mothers attempt suicide. Adolescents have enough pressures without adding the pressures of an unplanned pregnancy to the mix.
If a teen girl finds out she is pregnant, she and her parents, and the father of the baby and his parents have some tough decisions to make. None of them are easy,Whether you're male or female, with the decision to have sex, comes the responsibility of being sensible and protecting yourself from an unplanned pregnancy.

If you're old enough to do 'it',then you're old enough to be responsible for what can happen so think twice and zip up!

Now,how do i get the thoughts of Abike out of my mind?