A November to Remember

Bumping into an old friend could be embarrassing at times,if your place and manner of contact was less disconcerting,then wait till you both start conversing,you find your self wishing life had a skip button.i ran into an old friend last month and the first question he asked me was " you don dey drink"? now,i start to wonder of all questions in the whole world to ask me,why ask me this? iv always had this embarrasing drinking problem,its being a part of my life and im starting to think il be living with it forever..the problem is ehn,i dont drink,iv never tasted liquor all my life and suprisingly instead of being praised by friends,i get d stick all da time.


i seldom look forward to hanging out with my friends at a bar club or cafe,then u hear one of them say " bar man,give us 3 big stout,2 star,1 smirnoff and one cold pure water for jaye..then every one starts laughing out loud..i wanted this degradation to end so i upgraded from water to energy drinks.i drank red bull like it was going out of circulation,i could drink 6 cans a night and felt high in my own little way,i drank redbull and power horse sotey i was belching caffein because excess intake had caffeinated my blood vessels. Then suddenly,as i got used to this drink of the devil,i started acting strangely,like dancing without music,going hyper active for no reason,shouted when i was supposed to whisper,whisperd when i was supposed to shout,i was like 'to hell with alcohol,this is my thing'.my funny behaviour started to worry me,the way i spoke changed,you will think i swallowed a china phone,i was so audible no matter where i was.i would walk a running distance and run a walking one,yea yea... i know... #idondeymadt. ope lope water therapy,i 4 don turn bruce lee.


November saw me watch another sibling leave the shores of this country to obodo oyinbo,which means in the whole of my family,na only me never travel..na wao..the only time iv been to the airport was anytime any of my sibling was traveling,i still have never enterd an aeroplane before in my life smh ...oh..i remember i did once,my primary school excursion to concord airlines in the early 90s,even though i had to sit on a stool in the abandoned aircraft because of over crowding,oh i wish i took a picture sha.damn! its so annoying being the only sibling back here,it makes me feel like an only child and sometimes i wonder if my mother forgets she has 5 children and not me alone,i gas travel next year men,i gas travel,even if na Abuja,i must to travel itunu!

i never thought my being nice could be used against me,but two incidents in november proved me wrong.first i was on the BRT bus sitting comfortably,i saw this not so cute looking girl standing and being a gentleman that i was,i stood up and asked her to sit but in front of the whole passengers on the bus,she declined saying,No thanks,il rather stand..i was taking one of the lowest points in my life jejely until my stupid cousin laughed out loud in front of everybody.the other incident was me trying to suprise my mum by buying her icecream and sharwama when she least expected it,she took it with a suspicious look but i was not botherd,the next day,i decided to remind my mother about the money she promised me,before i could finish my request,she cuts in sharply "ehn ehn,i knew something was up,no wonder you bought all dos mede mede for me yesterday,open the fridge and carry your icecream and ur sharwama is in the microwave,i dont have any money to give you....imagine this woman o..and i thought she was my mother sha.. smh


So after saving for a year and three months to buy a blackberry,i finally got one last month.To say i was ecstatic would be an understatement,if you are a regular follower of my blog,you will know where im coming from with this blackberry wahala.now i can start feeling among even though i never pay BIS money,so to the girl i once gave 533732fh as my BB pin because she found it hard to believe that i dont have one,please delete it,that was my jamb registration number,im so sorry :( . i can now download 5 mic's wave your blackberry song on my phone cause i once thought it was segregating,and i stopped beefing Durella cause i took that pinging lori Nokia thing personal..dnt blame me,i thought the dude was throwing a subliminal at me!
The search for an IPAD starts snow,wish me luck!


feel free to #gbagaun me,english is not my mother tongue :p

BETWEEN ME AND YOU...

so after many many many many many many many years of pursuing a bachelors degree,i finally rounded up my 'Adult education' few weeks ago(note that 1 "many"= 1yr)....this does not only call for thanksgiving and prayers,it calls for sacrifice sef..cus looking back at the years i spent trying to get a degree,all i have to say is alhamdulilai

I wonder what my greatest joy of completing university education is,Getting a job? getting ready for masters? getting married? Internship?starting business? well,its non of the above cause my greatest joy is that now,i get to avoid the usuall question my mother asks me 5 times daily for 4 yrs..igbawo lo ma se tan gaaan? *when would you graduate from school*?

my mother is the shrewd type,she has canny ways of telling you things and passing messages across to you.for example,if she wants to tell you she is hungry and you should cook or buy something for her to eat,you will hear mama jaye say...oga o,se ebi yi oni pa eyan ba yi,ti mo de bimo repete sile?*na wao,wont this hunger kill me like this,despite all the children i have around me* thats her for you.i remember i had to take pictures of my self in class during a lecture to show my mum cause she stopped believing i was actually in school although she still believes i took that picture in a computer lesson or something.kmt

Getting into university was an arduous task.i write jamb sote,i almost got a free form for the best customer award if i had not passed the final one.i thought jamb was the toughest obstacle i had 2 face before getting an admission into university,but i was wrong when my WAEC result came out with a certain English Language misssing..i find english like sey america dey find osama,English no come o!my mother got so angry and fustrated,i enrolled in 3 different english classes,she stoped me from speaking yoruba in the house and i got a knock on d head for every yoruba movie i saw.she also threatened to buy me a mechanic uniform if i dare fail the next exam...But like the brilliant boy i was ,i believed in my ability,i read and studied hard for that exam and at last i had B3 in english language...mehn that machinery try for me o

Gaining admission was another hurdle to cross,if passing the exam was a yardstick in getting into the university,getting ur name on the admission list was a tougher one.if you see the way we prayed for my name to be on that list,you will feel its a prayer for the whole Nigeria students awaiting admission,mumsy fasted and fasted i had to tell her to take a break if she didnt want our prayer point to change from Education to health issues..i remember she told me once ,Jayeola ,i want you to pray to your God,talk to him,Go naked and tell him to consider the prayer of a virgin and grant your wishes..lmaol..i thought in my head,be like say this woman no want make i go school at all,abi who be virgin?lwkmd

until i graduated recently,my Mum always think we should be in school together because my schooling, to her, is nothing different from an Adult education,so im kinda happy i get to finish at last and fast track my dream of making her a proud mother.I cant wait for the day..I ll tell my mama..stop working Ma..il take care of you nd treat you right...like you rightly deserve

Ramadan is here again,the holy month is one which is compulsory for all Muslims ,hence im also in 'fasting" mode..iv been fasting since i was age 7,although then,i thought it was my mother's way of telling me she was not my biological mother bacause i just couldnt understand why she only fed me once a day..i ate at random and kept forming fasting for her until that tasty time i drink landed me in trouble..i drank tasty time forgetting that my toungue had turned red,my mum asked me what waas on my tongue and i lied stupidly that it was my blood,i actually saw blood that day after serious beating..
PS all i said about my mum stays between me and you o

what else do i want to say oooo....ehn ehn,my Blackberry stuff took a new twist last week sha,my money for curve 2 never complete and Blackberry introduced Blackkberry torch,i mean thats unfair,they should consider does that dont have a Blackberry before introducing new ones,why cant they just wait for every body to own at least a curve first before they bring another one..na wa for these people self..just last week,another friend asked me for ...sorry my Laptop Battery is dead and we dont have light here,il continue my gist in the next blog update

feel free to #gbagaun me o,afterall English is not my mother tongue :p

BACK AT YA !

i know it's been quite a long while i blogged o,so lemme just explain my self b4 ya all castigate me..iv been very busy i swear,been busy reading studying,jacking(not d dirty 1 o) researchs,revisions assignments and all other stuffs u know i can lie about :d

but seriously,writing blogs no be easy thing o..im getting old and there is little this overloaded brain of mine can store..yesterday lasan,it took me correct 48 seconds to spell ordinary "apetizer"i think my brain needs a generator seriously..is dat spelling even correct?

so back to the blogging bruhaha,alot of factors are behind my reasons for not updating my blog often,if my overloaded brain can remember well,my last blog was on "life as easy as ABC"and that was way back after the unfortunate deaths of DAGRIN and YARADUA #RIP..thats quite a looooong time o.dont even be suprised if when u tried opening this page you saw cobwebs,well ,that tells you how much this page af 'taayed'

so back to the blogging bruhaha once again......................................shaet,i think i forgot what i wanted to type again sha,dis brain can like to fall my hand at the 'wrongest' time..smh..well,lets just say the worldcup was a big factor to why my blog almost became extint,besides the fact that im a big football fan and a Gunner 4 that matter,its Africa's world cup 'so they say'so there is this extra bit of excitement about the Mondial which makes even a staunch football hater(E.G my mama) get intrested.

The only thing i hated about the worldcup was anytime Ghana was playing..YES!i hated anytime Ghana was on TV..all dos girls were always snubing me because of that Prince Boateng guy....i beefed that guy seriously o..is he even a real prince sef?psheeeeeew..oshisko!

oh,and i found a new love in twitter,yea im really gbaduing twitter at the moment so facebook can chilax small jaree.im 3 months old on twitter and although i found it hard at first,its been real fun so far.i was off facebook for some months and if a soothsayer had told me i wouldnt update my facebook status in a month,i would have hit his/her head with a vuvuzela and kicked the jabulani right in his/her face..it got so serious,i had phone calls from my friends asking if i was alright cus iv been off facebook for a while..lol..can u imagine?awon oni so lenu....

so sha,iv been tweeting on tweeter and iv got tweeps,twends and twenemies in my tweetfam who re cool tweeple so if you are not on twitter,start tweeting soon or risk tweetjail!(i always knew i could rap..Jor oo)

so the twitter thing brings me to another reason why this blog looks like an old artifact destined for the old museum for very old stuffs..i also read alot of blogs on twitter and all i can say is blog pass blog abegi ..shey dis 1 wey u dey read na blog abi rough-work? i read some blogs on twitter ehn and i felt like deleting my blog ASAP. ..as in i dont even have a blog self,lets just call it a jotter abi roughwork.Reading these blogs made mine look so ordinary..wait 1st,ordinary is even an understatment,it made it look........it made it look.........it made it look.........this my brain sef,it made it look some how sha....*i cant kill my sef jare*

i have read blogs from reputable bloggers of high distinction and class and i felt i should be sent to jail for calling my rubbish a blog too.i read bloggs from @RealistXX,@exschoolnerd,@sandiepandie,@sirscribbles,@dhebbur,@tunrayopoetry,@sheriphskills @deelami and im so sure these tweeps(twitter style) must have read bloggery in school or got a degree in blogamy(dnt borther checking d dictionary cus its not there)ahn ahn,awon eleyi n blog ejo....so calling this rubbish im writing a blog is just an insult on these cool bloggerians...but i know say one day sha,i go make my self proud #thatsall

i hope my reasons have been able to convince you and not confuse you on why i have refused to blog in a long while...in case you dont know sha,my hands are starting to ache me seriously so i have to stop now.....oh,one more thing,i still never buy blackberry o..my "help jaye get a BB trust fund " is still 13000 naira short.sorry i meant 13500 short cus i just rememberd i bought 500 zain card so i can use the internet to update this jotter.my Nokia berry is still working very fine sha so im not missing a BB much,i think im just fine without a BB,who needs a BB sef,that thing is just an overated toy ....see me consoling my self o,i no even dey shame,woooo dont let me lie jaree,i know almost 20 sumtin BBpins of hand and i dont even own a BB...smh..God please shame my enemies and give me a BB biko,this Nokia berry haf tire me and i want to start pinging too and stop using my phone number as my BBpin,i want to stop switching my nokiaberry on silent just because i dont want my friends to hear my nokia tone when my phone rings,i want to stop lying that my BB fell inside the toilet when i dont even have a BB pouch...do this for me baba and il serve you till i die...all these i pray oh lord...do i hear an AMEN somebody?

P.S feel free to #gbagaun me

TwEnTy SuMtIn RaNdOm ThInGs AbOuT ME........................................................

Saturday, 11 April 2009 at 15:24 | Edit note | Delete
1.im a staunchly devoted ARSENAL fan,be it an
allegiance,devotion,loyalty,commitment,addiction,obsession,possesion,dedication,enthusiasm,fervor,faithfulness,steadfastness or fascination.im a GUNNER 4 life#(2)

2.lost my dad at the tender age of 3,sometimes i just have 2 think very very hard to remember the things we did 2gether.....now dnt feel sorry, cus iv bin leaving with it 4 over 2 decades#

3 i love my family so dearly,il do anything 4 them#

4 iv lived d past 12 yrs missing my brother ladi,im keenly anticipating setting my eyes on him soon.i feel so guilty i picked does small fights b4 u travelled,never knew i was goin 2 miss u dis much#

5 i dnt joke with my friends nd im always willing 2 go 2 d extreme 2 please dem#

6 i dont drink alcohol and i dont smoke.i feel im going to sumtime in d future..........ok i like women ,but i dnt womanize.but cum 2 think of it,who doesnt??????#

7 ill die for plantain,be it cooked,half cooked,boiled,fried,roasted,per boiled,ripe,unripe or smoked.ill definately grow a plantain plantation at a point in future#

8 i seldom attend weddings and funerals cus i often end up in tears.they scare d shit outa me#

9 im a pure moslem fom a strict moslem home.i graduated from arabic school at the tender age of 10.#

10 if i was not studying international relations,i would av loved 2 be a farmer.iv got a thing for planting stuffs,like growing plantain....lol#

11 people say im very stubborn,i dont totally agree with dat,although i could be mulish at times....hummm ok most times.sadly enough,the hole in my ear confirms dat.#

13 im a tech guy,i love electronics and gadgets so much.at times i destroy my stuffs just because i want 2 repair dem.i just love fixing stuffs#

14 i joke a lot.i culd be so unserious at times my friends cant tell if im joking or not.#

15 i miss my model college friends all d time.they re my real,true freinds.#

16 im a very very shy person and hardly talk in public,but when im in the midst of my friends,im d crazy guy u tot u knew,dats changing soon cus my gentility has been exploited as a weakness.#

17 im 100% naija.i love my country 2 bits.i still harbour the tots of joining the nigerian army after my degree.call me a patroit....but dont tell my mother!#

18 i suck at mathematics,ill never learn or never want to learn mathematics.not for anything in dis world or d world after.its not just meant for me#

19 im a big fan of kwam1,fergie,dagrin and 9ice.alapomeji..jijiji...chii..chii..chii.ooookayyyy lets go there!#

20 im adventurous and creative.i love trying out new stuffs,even if they aint goin 2 work out,i just try it out.pls dont refer 2 number 11.#

21 i still love my model college sweetheart,she forever remains a big part of me........................what?.......no names!#

22 if i had special powers,il love to make the world a better and peaceful place to live,where we all will be free fom all forms of crises,be it financial,global,food,middle east,oil,religious,climate change,poverty,nd others yet unknown 2 man#

23 i love babies and children so much.although im not in a hurry to make em now.if i was not in skool,i may be running a daycare.#

24 i have learnt never to look down on people cus no body knows 2mrw.no downgrading what so ever.#

25 i love keeping in touch.i enjoy keeping contacts with my friends all over.guess becks,pero and tola can testify 2 that.#

26 as a full blooded lagosian,i still dream of carrying the eyo masquerade sumday.even tho my mum culd end up slaughtering me 4 going against my religion.#

27 i hate dulling environs.i love making things happen.i tend to live up to my name,its a pity i dont drink cus if i did,i knw ill be a drunk 4 sure..#

28 i have mood swings,but i thank GOD its all getting under controll now.#


29 im a twitter jjc but im getting addicted by the second.....im not just feeling facebook anymore jare#



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P.M.B 21090. DOES THIS RING A BELL?

Thursday, 16 July 2009 at 11:34
WAKE UP FOR MORNING DUTY!WAKE UP FOR MORNING DUTY!!WAKE UP FOR MORNING DUTY!!!,I so much hated does words waking me up in the morning for another school day. I always disliked Friday mornings because its the morning between THURSDAY LABOUR and SATURDAY JOGGING. we rarely had MORNING DEVOTION, I mean who had time anyway, the BELL FOR BREAKFAST was going 2 sound soon so no body wanted to waste time on any task. My MORNING DUTY was a fair one, PUSHING THE PIT was far better than working at the PIGGERY or SCRUBBING THE TOILET. Who wants to clean sum1 else's BOGS?. I usually rush through my duty, get to the reservoir to get water and dress up quickly before the breakfast bell. I love sitting on the FRONT ROW so that i can get 2 SERVE THE WHOLE TABLE so you are right if you call me a FOOD MONGER. Its always good getting HEAD OF FISH. On my lucky day, I always eat with the 1ST AND 2ND BATCHES. ....That TIME KEEPER self, he never rings the bell on time!

Was never a fan of the PRINCIPAL’S long boring speeches so I skipped ASSEMBLY regularly, you can find me hiding in the SICK BAY till we marched to the PTA block for the FIRST PERIOD. I was sitting in front of my CRUSH in class so my name was never missing in the NAMES OF NOISE MAKERS, besides the foolish CLASS CAPTAIN never liked me since i never returned his DRAWING BOARD. In CLASS, when young minds are concentrating on d AGAMA STYLED FURTHER MATHS TEACHER, all I was thinking was the BELL FOR BREAKTIME.I was 50 naira rich, but was torn between choices of where to spend my little fortune. Buying MALTINA AND SCOTCH EGG at BAKDOS was for the extravagant and i just dont belong there yet, MODECOM was too far so i couldn’t risk losing all i ate 2 walk back to CLASS was sick and tired of TANDY so QUDEX was not even an option ,and why should i buy AGBALUMO at FRUITY when i can simply pluck it for free at the TURAMPA?.KOKO VILLAGE, RISKY BURGER, BREAD AND PETIT and SHOW RICE were no go areas so those were never options .then I thought i just settle for my favourite MEAT PIE..oh sorry, I meant YAM PIE at the TACTUK.my tactics never failed me here, all i do is stand by the door, and wait for a friend to buy 1 SOLO COKE AND I YAMPIE and keep repeating “CUT SMALL FOR ME” over and over again till I get filled up without spending a kobo. It keeps me agile till the LAST PERIOD.

some times i use to think the TIME KEEPER was fasting because he never rings the BELL FOR FOOD on time! Wish i was the TIME KEEPER, I swear ill always live by the bell. As a regular SERVER in the DINNING HALL, I always had enough to eat even after the daily routine of SCALING OUTSIDE SCHOOL. If I m not in DOWNTOWN buying BEANS BURGER,im at BLESSED eating POUNDED YAM. All i had 2 do was settle BAMBAS at the GATE HOUSE or wait at the RECREATION CENTRE looking for honest DAY STUDENTS to send because they always end up running away with our money I remember I sent one to FAJOL PLAZA d other day to get me a rose and a card for VALENTINE, he never came back with my money or the gift, not until .I later learnt he had changed to MEIRAN COMPREHENSIVE ,damn!, cant wait 2 get that “D” BADGE on my UNIFORM.

Life in the BOYS HOSTEL was never fun, we all look like prisoners in our CHECK SHIRTS and CHINOS. All you hear is LAST JUNIOR everytime,5 SENIORS could be calling LAST JUNIOR at the same time and all we had 2 do was look at for the SENIOR with the smallest BUCKET to run to. Carrying that IRON PAIL from the RESERVOIR was never easy! If you think am joking, ask SEGUN ADEOSUN,its like a MOCK EXAM differentiating his neck from his head.thanks 2 the IRON BUCKET if you are so lucky to escape LAST JUNIOR, you wont escape being sent to look for ARODAN(journey without end) or being told to LIE DOWN FLAT. well except u stayed in the ANNEX of course, even the boys in the NEW HOSTEL never missed out. All we do is hide in the LAUNDRY or COMMON ROOM, we lie gently on our FOAMS ,SOAKING our GARI CAKE, drinking GARIUM, soaking RAW NOODLES with SARDINE or once in a blue moon, Kellogg’s. Kellogg’s was not for everybody, its only for the few, I remember the 1st time i tasted it,I never ate anything else d whole day, wanted 2 cherish that feeling in my stomach 4 ever. GARIUM was d most cherished possession however, especially during SAP.even if sum1 JACKS ur LOCKER,he will rather FAP ur GARIUM,rather than steal ur POCKET MONEY.

EVENING PREP at the USHAPED BLOCK was always fun. I get to read the LOVE LETTER i wrote over and over again. Wrote d letter in 2ND TERM of JS2,its SS1 3RD TERM now and i wonder if im ever going to give her the letter to read. If only she was a BOARDER, we would have met at the LOVE GARRDEN after PREP an maybe I may find the courage 2 give her. I always prefer the WALKWAY by the INTRO TECH LAB, there ,M K and his OPC boys will never catch us. Walking to the HOSTEL after PREP, what usually comes to mind is what 2 buy when you get to the hostel. Hear, you hear MELLOOOO..MASSUNNN ,there, you see boys trooping to STAFF QUATERS 2 buy AYORINDE’S DONUT and SOBO ,if u are d lucky 1,u get 2 watch PRIME TIME JAMS 4 free!. Back in d HOSTEL was always very uneasy, all we waited to hear was LIGHTS OUT but u pray and pray your HOUSE PREFECT does not shout does words you never want to hear, ALL BOYS TO THE COURTYARD! because if you do, you may end up MARRYING THE POLE.

Saturdays was always boring, all we do is WAKE UP FOR JOGGING and CLANING THE HOSTEL like there was an INSPECTION. Who even liked their YAM AND BEANS self, its only the EKO WITH VEGETABLE AND FRIED FISH. we enjoy. Every other thing about Saturdays was just play, play, and play. well except APO was in a good mood to allow us organise SOCIALS. That was always the highpoint of any good Saturday. Who wouldn’t want 2 show off that BUTTERFLY DANCE or the OPEN AND CLOSE STEP to that special girl. We end up in the hostel jisting about who danced with who and who mimed what song. We the HARD GUYS always have d best stories because LEVELS DEY!. At the end of the day, we all sleep off, with most of us sharing the same dream. Sundays BREAD AND EGG!

no be say NA MOI MOI,NO BE SAY NA OLELE,we always look forward to Sundays, I never had WHITE WHITE but i always EAT BREAD AND EGG. I never had a COMPLETE SET OF CUTLERY but seldom miss my JOLLOF RICE and FRIED FISH. I was like a forgotten boy back in school so i don’t get visits on VISITING DAY, but as a good BLENDER,I make sure i eat everyone’s GRUB on that day. Sunday ends up with visiting the BACK OF HOSTEL because i had more than enough to eat on d day.


MEMORIES OF MODEL COLLEGE MEIRAN WILL ALWAYS FOREVER LINGER IN MY HEART,JUST LIKE ANY OTHER MODELITE,I MADE MY BEST FRIENDS AND SOME UNFORGETABLE EXPERIENCES.LIKE MY PHYSICS TEACHER USE TO SAY,“THAT IS JUST THE GOSPEL TRUTH”.

UP SCHOOL !!! UP MODEL!!!

Please note that this story is satirical, my idea was to put together popular model college Meiran slangs and terms into a short story to give the reader a good understanding of the piece.
JAYEOLA PAPINGO ODUNEWU

If u think this is stupid, then u just read it! lol
if you have read my notes and liked it,you need to check out my other notes.And if you have read my note and think its rubbish,please read my other notes.thanks

ABODE OR ABROAD???

Just this once, please allow me to put aside trying to be proper and worrying about correct tenses and punctuations. I want to talk to you in a language we can both understand without punctuations and grammar/spell check getting in the way and slowing me down.

This is not one of my funny witty notes,im sorry if i disappoint you writing this,i just thought i get a bit serious for a change.

if you are reading this note right now,im sure you are either outside the shores of Nigeria,or you are planning to leave soon...i mean very soon,either you are processing your passport or you have an appointment at the embassy.if you are not among d above listed people,im sure u have a close (or not close) relation some where outside Nigeria,be it the us,UK,France,Italy,Canada,south Africa,Austria,Belgium,Bulgaria,Malaysia,china,Israel,Vanuatu(yes it exists!)Pakistan,Iran,Australia,panama,Ukraine,Iceland,Brazil,Benin republic(what???they have 24hrs uninterrupted power supply!) or any sovereign nation u can think of,you are sure to find a Nigerian there,so far its outside our boarder,we are always represented everywhere on the globe.

Education,relocation,better leaving conditions,marriage,greener pastures,business,pleasure,child trafficking,money laundering(don't act like u don't know),international career,health,shopping are some of the many reasons Nigerians leave their abode for abroad(plus your reason).the present political and economic situation back home are not helping matters either,electricity,poverty,education,security and unemployment have aided and abated the vast movement of people to foreign lands,irrespective of the kind and manner of arrangements made for their arrival overseas.the urge and desire to leave Nigeria by all means always add an irresistible determination to succeed in the most stringent and harsh conditions abroad.besides,we all have this naija never say die spirit cus we easily adjust to new environment and conditions,no matter how bad!a friend of mine once got a visa to Cyprus,neither did he know where Cyprus was on the map nor did he have anybody to stay with over there(hotel reservation for where?)he so much crave to leave naija he cared less about what was in stock for him over there.be it a drive for success or lack of opportunity back home,he was hellbent on leaving for Cyprus by all means possible.

im not disheartened by the mass movement of Nigerians abroad,im only worried on why they never want to come back home?we keep giving one excuse or the other for never wanting to return to Nigeria,my sister was always quick to jump to the same reason every time i ask her the dreaded question when will she finally make the trip to fatherland?its been 6 years now and she keeps giving me the same reasons over and over again......there is no employment in naija,jaye no light,the hospitals are bad jaree,jaye u people have very bad roads(cant believe she said you people!),jaye no this,jaye no that.sister mi please say something else,i have not died because we don't have regular power supply,neither have i been hospitalized since you left 6yrs back because we don't have good facilities in our hospitals!

Nigeria may not be as good as where you all are now,or where u are planning to go(now im talking to every1 abroad,not my sister alone,) but the little we can do is at least have some optimism about what the future holds.
the negativity surrounding the country Nigeria itself has made it extremely difficult for we as Nigerians to think anything good will ever come out of our nation.the British wake up in the morning and say god bless the queen,the Americans wake up and say god bless America,but we Nigerians all we do is rain curses and remain pessimist about naija,not only when we wake up but even in our sleep.if we keep being skeptic about the future of our country,what do we expect other people to think?we are always too quick to rubbish or write off any positive thing associated with our country and weather we like it or not,irrespective of the number of decades or centuries you have lived in foreign man's land,our identity will never change.forget your British accent or your American way of life,deep deep within you lies that naija spirit you don't want to recognize.

i agree things may not be working quite well(at least for now) maybe due to the bad leaders we have or the corruption everywhere,or the electoral fraud,or maybe the decaying educational sector,or even the bad electricty abi the scandals and bribery at top levels..well maybe all of the above(now ur smiling)but there is more we can do than sit down and fold our arms waiting to see how things unfold.the time to act is now.i understand education in Nigeria is nothing compared to the one gotten overseas,maybe that is a good reason why a lot of us seek to get educated outside Nigeria.my school has been on strike for 3 months now while im wasting away my time everyday writing this note and updating my status every minute on Facebook while my friends elsewhere are facing their books getting updated with quality knowledge abroad.which bring me to you guys,(yes you!),im sure you have little or no plans to come back home after your studies over there,maybe you get a job in one of does high rise buildings on wall street,or you get an appointment with that accounting firm on isslington,better still,you may be getting ready to be an attending in Seattle grace hospital,no matter how good that job offer is,im sure you merit it,after years in college and high costs of tuition,its only normal you get rewarded and appreciated for you are a degree holder or more.however,you should have this at the back of your minds that your country needs your knowledge and ideas more than where you are applying it.the university hospital in Durban southafrica has far more medical doctors than we have in lagos university teaching hospital,majority of this doctors at one point or the other,have schooled in the best universities around Europe and America,but instead of staying back and take jobs abroad,they have decided to come back home and contribute their quota to national development.patriotism or not,we do more when we give back to the community than doing elsewhere,without this,we only end up increasing the long gap between the developed country you schooled and the developing country you come from.most of my friends and families only come home when they want to make Ghana braids or renew their passport,after that,they zoom off to their base.its so not fair.i was speaking with a very good friend of mine who is taking her masters in forensic science in the us if she was thinking of starting a career in Nigeria when she is through and she sounded unenthusiastic about the whole idea,how many forensic scientist do we have in naija she asked?i said i was not too sure but she can be the first and set a landmark for others to follow if she liked,she only laughed away my suggestion(like "this guy is a big joker").

you wonder why i have been ranting since?well this is why.there is quite a lot of expectation from our generation concerning the future of our country(im talking about Nigeria this time).our generation is seen as the golden one,where everything is done at an advanced and improvised stage compared to what the previous generation are doing now,everything around us has changed at a very fast pace leaving hardly any room for failures or corrections.our fathers at this age were used to writing letters and sending posts while we use the email and other electronic devices(thanks to the internet) so we are charged with a lot of responsibilities regarding change and development of our nation...

conclusively,all im trying to say is,its about time we take charge and make moves to make our nation better again.lets get involved and make certain contributions to take our country forward to that position it really belong to.its high time we stop asking the question what Nigeria is doing for you,its now what are you doing for Nigeria?only you have does answers and the earlier we act,the better it become for all of us.lets stop the negativity about everything about naija,lets be positive and hope that if it doesn't work now,it will very soon.so lets all stand up and be counted.there is more to naija than hair dos
if you have read my notes and liked it,you need to check out my other notes.And if you have read my note and think its rubbish,please read my other notes.thanks

NAIJA INTERNET SLANGS

i dont know about you guys but i am tired of using the old popular internet slangs we are all used to..its starting to get boring and so in order to spice things up a bit,i culled from the internet,facebook,IMs and social networking sites,some porpular naija slangs on the internet...lets start doing our thing the naija way,im tired of people asking me what LMAO or LOL means.....

So peoples, LGT!(lets go there)



1. LWKM - Laugh wan kill me
2. LWKMD - Laugh wan kill me die
3. MIDG - make i dey go
4. WGYL - we go yarn later
5. IGA - I gbadun am
6. ICS - I can't shout
7. DJM - Don't jealous me
8. WBDM - Who born d maga
9. UDC - U de craze
10. NUS - Na u sabi
11. WSU - who send u
12. OSABZ - over sabi
13. ITK - I too know
14. WDH - wetin dey happen
15. NDH - nutin dey happen
16. FMJ - free me jo
17. BBP - bad bele people
18. HUD - how u dey
19. WKP - waka pass
20. BBG - baby girl
21. KKL - Kokolette
22. MML - mamalette
23 GFF- Gbono fe le fe le (e.g., she GFF)
24. NTT - Na true talk
25. IKU - It koncain u?
26. NDM - no dull me
27. LGT - let's goo there
28. IFSA - I for slap am
29. IGDO - I go die o
30. YB - Yess boss
31. NLT - No long thing
32. 2GB - 2 gbaski (e.g., the song 2GB!)
33. CWJ - carry waka jorh
34. WBYO - wetin be your own
35. U2D - U 2 do
36. U2DV - U 2 dey vex
37. MKG - maka gini?
38. WSDP - who send dem papa
39. INS - i no send
40. INFS - i no fit shout
41. WWY - who wan yarn
42. NBST - no be small thing
43. NWO - na wah oooooo
44. NMA - no mind am
45. MIHW - make i hear word
46. NBL - no be lie
47. NB? - na beans?
48 wd - wetin dey
49. UNGKM - u no go kill me
50. o2s - omo 2 sexy

AN OPEN LETTER TO SHAIBU AMODU

Tuesday, 26 January 2010 at 07:13
Dear sir,

I congratulate you on our victory against the chipolopolo of Zambia.To qualify for the semi finals of the nations cup after such an abmysmal and below par performance still deserve some praise,Even if we had just 3 shots on goal(all in the 2nd half of extra time)im sure you and i both agree with our church minds that we really did not deserve that victory but we know football is never fair which is why a team should always make good use of their chances,one which the Zambian team failed to do

it is amazing how far we have come in this tournament,judging by our preparations and performances,we were never the bookmakers favourite to reach the semi finals,but as lady luck will have it,we have been enjoying a cossy relationship with her which we pray wont turn sour anytime soon.Its a laudable achievement for your to have reach your goal of getting the" so called" super eagles to the semi finals of the nations cup,even if we end up not lifting the trophy,im sure you are satisfied your end of the deal is done,not minding how you got it done.

However,i have some questions which are begging for answers.Having in mind you may end up leading the team out against Argentina come June in South Africa,it is only proper i find answers to some niggling questions which i have failed to understand so far


1. If Nwankwo Kanu is not fit to play,why name him in the team only for him to seat on the bench for 90 minutes dishing out instructions like he is part of the technical crew.Its also unbelievable that this fringe player has been selected to be the captain of a team which lacks a natural leader on the pitch.In this tournament alone,the team has used up to 5 diffferent captains,an action which affects the balance and decision making of the team.

2.Chinedu obasi as we all know is a natural right footer,why play him out of position on the left when Osaze who uses both feet can play on that side of the pitch?Obasi started against EGYPT on the right flank and he felt more comfortable on that flank than the matches after.he looks out of sort on the left!

3.we switched from our traditional 4-4-2 formation after the defeat to Egypt to a more defensive like 4-3-3 formation.i would like to know if this is our new formation or we are still reverting to the latter which have proved fruitful over the years.With the little knowledge i have in football management,im sure you know juggling between formations makes the team play more as strangers they play more like they are playing together for the first time rather than a team of professionals.we need to stick to a particular formation because consistency is key.

4.i agree our right back is a promising talent for the future and im sure you also agree he lacks the required experience at this stage of football,i wonder what exactly is wrong with Chidi Odiah?is he out for months?if he is,then why was he included in the team cus i see him as a more favourable right full back to the promising but yet inexperienced Yusuf.

5.I have always found it difficult to understand when and how you make your substitutions.do you just think some one deserves a runout or you feel another has had enough?your substitutions are always questionable! its either you sub too late or you introduce the wrong person at the right time.excuse me sir,it is very annoying.


6 i personally think you have too many people on your technical crew,with about 5 different people dishing out instructions(kanu included),i wonder which orders the players will listen to.what does the term technical crew even mean?

7.This current team of super eagles has no naturall 10,a dictator,a playmaker or what ever you choose to call it is missing this means the team has no spark,no creativity and no body to dictate play and create chances for others.we all know by now that Mikel is more of a 4 than a 10.my question is,why have a team of 22 players without a 10?All we have is a bunch of defensive minded 4s who would rather play backward rather than upfield..this team has no engine!

8.your tactical approach to some games are amusing at times.when we are supposed 2 play long balls,we dont.in games where our holding 4 is to plays deep above the back 4,he plays up front instead.Against Benin,we used 3 defensive midfielders in the middle of the park,isolating the attackers up front,how were we suppose to create chances?no wonder we only managed 2 score a goal....through a penalty kick!

9 i think its annoying when your team are playing badly and all you do is stand in the dugout leaning your back against the bench...you need to show some action and dont just stand looking like an avatar.shout and scream if you have to,curse and swear if the need arises or have you not heard of a certain hair dryer treatment?

10.I hate to say this but we are starting to suspect a secret relationship is going on between you and Yakubu,i reserve my comment on this till i get to the bottom of the whole issue.......(speaking to my self silently).................

This are just personal questions i find disturbing,it does not take the shine away from the tremendous achievment you have bought by qualifing us for the semi finals...for that we are grateful but really,i need answers to these questions and many more!

CHILDREN HAVING CHILDREN:WHO TAKES THE BLAME?

Thinking estactically beyond my wildest dreams is the overwhelming thought of Abike,her radiant look sends cold shivers down my spine ,with her cute glowing smile,sometimes i wonder if Abike ever frowns ,even if she does,im sure a lot of people will take it for a smile...Not even her tribal marks will put you off at a first glance,her voluptous shape will surely make a married man take a close second look.i use to think only in the movies or magazines would you see a body this perfect but Abike proved me wrong,her full lips and sumptous breast were supported by her curvaceous figure eight.Abike is got the body of a godess!Then i remember sadly,this innocent girl is just seventeen years old oh,thats almost like a decade younger than me shaa..wellll,age is just a number jareee i thought hapilly to my self with a wicked smile on my face.it doesnt matter if im a century older than her or not as long as the chemistry is balanced and there is love and mutual understanding between us,im sure everything will work out fine and we will live hapilly ever after.....(see agbaya like me consoling my self oh).

Then i got thinking..........................

Do you know that one in three teen girls in Nigeria is estimated to get pregnant at least once before age 20?. Pregnancy has very important consequences for teen girls and teen boys, and their children. Having a baby as a teen makes it much harder for a boy or girl to reach their goals, such as finishing high school, going on touniversity, getting a good job, or getting married when they grow up, and poses additional challenges to the child as well.


Teenage pregnacy in Nigeria has shot up at an alarming rate in recent times,unlike in the past,when illitracy is blamed for the high number of teenegers getting pregnant,Nowadays,it is interesting to know that 65% of pregnant teenagers are either secondary school leavers or drop outs.it baffles one's mind when you see an adolescent carrying an offspring at their tender age,you start to wonder how these "Kids" who are still under parental care are getting ready to become parents.In the Afican traditional society that we live in,it is always a thing of joy and hapiness to bear offsprngs and add to the family but in cases where its a child who is heavy with child,it leaves a lot to be discussed.Different reasons have been pointed to why we have an increase in teenage pregnancy.Either its naivity on the girls part,parental lapse,Youthful exhuberance,peer pressure,sex education,rape,or what ever reasons that can be traced to unwanted pregnancies by teenagers,it leaves me to wonder who takes the blame for teenage pregnancy in our society?THE COMMUNITY,THE PARENT OR THE CHILD?


Gone are the days when teenagers shy away from talk related to the opposite sex.when such topics come up,they chuckle and giggle,trying to avoid discussions associated with the opposite sex or adult conversations.i remember my high school days,a particular topic in biology that gets me and my friends gingered up is REPRODUCTIOn.we snicker around happily with each one of us paying our undivided attention to the smallest of details to our best topic.Those of us that were really bad in Biological diagrams suddenly feel like Picasso when its time to draw a diagram of the reproductive organ.i raise up my hands to answer questions even before they were asked.no wonder i got an A in my Biology exam for WAEC!

It took me 22yrs 2 get my first kiss...playing truth or dare.Nowadays,the reverse is the case.most Teenagers,boys in particular are sexually active from ages 14-21.The global world has made it possible for young teenagers to know at their age more than we did when we were their age.The internet undoubtedly has played a very significant role in this aspect.A 19 year old kid this days,knows more about sex than i knew when i was their age back then.i mean,at 20,i was still filling condoms with water thinking it was a ballon!
Our educational sector have failed to provide a condusive environment for sex related issues to be discussed openly and extensively.i feel sex education should be introduced to the educational curriculum as it will go a long way in enlightening more people about issues related to this topic and make them know about the actual facts surrounding teenage pregnancies,sex and relationships.The problem really is we feel we know this kids too well,hence we turn a blind eye to these little yet important issue.we are higly mistaken to think these kids only learn what they are thought at home or in school,18yr old Bolanle whom mommy thinks is very shy and doesnt talk to boys is already in her 3rd relationship and has had 2 abortions already!i mean,its quite amazing how much these kids know nowadays because they know far more than they look.

Parenting is an essential aspect of teenage upbringing.I feel "we" are failing Nigerian adolescents when it comes to providing them with the basic information and services regarding teenage pregnancy and sexually-transmitted diseases, such as HIV. They need to delay marriage and avoid unintended pregnancies. whatever is taught at home by the parents becomes a part and parcel of the childs life in the foundation stage of their lives.Apart from certain moral imperatives which the parents are obliged to teach the child,various important issues are ignored and swept under the carpet.The parents atimes refuses to pay atttention 2 certain little details which benefits the child on the longrun.Teenagers are quite difficult people to deal with but that is not good enough an excuse to make for not teaching the essential aspects of life.weather we like it or not,the little things we as "parents" refuse to discuss with our child today,as times goes on,he or she will learn outside,either from a friend on the street,the internet or any other insecure source which in most cases leaves a mark on the child.It is better your child learn from you,what a condom means than finding out from the internet or a friend from school.In cases of teenage pregnancies,the female is the most affected,she suffers the emotional stress of carrying an unwanted baby at a tender age and may even think about abortion.Some teen pregnancies end in abortion. Abortions can have complications and there may be emotional consequences so these are no easy decisions to make as they determine the life of the girl.im not taking anything away from the parents who have done alot to give theri child that perfect upbringing,i just feel they are not doing enough stop teenage pregnancies,its about time they toughen up and take a firm stance.Once a girl is pregnant, there is no easy choice. The very best thing is to help your son or daughter avoid getting pregnant, or getting someone pregnant in the first place.

Finally,i believe in order to curb the excesses of teenage pregnancies in our society,we all need to contribute in one way or the other because neither the parent,the society nor the child can be soley blamed.i feel strongly,that in other to reduce the risks which adolesents go through when they are pregnant must begin at home and followed up from the community and educational enviroment.its okay if we all place the blame on the child but we should also have in mind that the emotional consequences of an unplanned pregnancy can be many and varies, but they need to be taken into consideration. The teen parents may experience guilt, shame, worry, anger, and any number of other feelings upon discovering the pregnancy. Then they’re faced with the decision of whether or not want to continue with the pregnancy and all the emotional consequences that entails. Teen mothers are more likely to suffer from depression and many teen mothers attempt suicide. Adolescents have enough pressures without adding the pressures of an unplanned pregnancy to the mix.
If a teen girl finds out she is pregnant, she and her parents, and the father of the baby and his parents have some tough decisions to make. None of them are easy,Whether you're male or female, with the decision to have sex, comes the responsibility of being sensible and protecting yourself from an unplanned pregnancy.

If you're old enough to do 'it',then you're old enough to be responsible for what can happen so think twice and zip up!

Now,how do i get the thoughts of Abike out of my mind?

REAL MADRID APPOINTS NEW MANAGER

Martin O'Neill recently joked that football fans these days suddenly think they are top tacticians themselves based on a few games of Championship Manager.He’s right! Which is why I am going to go at suggesting why i can successfully manage a football team!

Football lovers like me and you out there often get carried away when watching our darling teams play,we dish out instructions from beer parlours,set formations from our living rooms and make tactical changes from viewing centres.we suddenly turn our self to full time managers overnight,cursing every bad miss by Bendtner and hailing every sublime goal by Torres.

I remember screaming my heart out during Arsenal's FA cup semifinal against Chelsea,the Professor had refused to bring in Arshavin and the clock was ticking real fast,i stood up in anger shouting at the top of my voice"this Wenger na big fool,make he just carry Arsha enter for walcott and make he convert Eboue and Gibbs to wing backs instead of full backs,this 4-4-2 no pay us 4 dis kind time atall,abi why dis man dey do like dis self?"my outburst caused a sharp reply from my friend who was a Chelsea fan"Jay na wa 4 you,if you sabi coach like dis,why Arsenal no employ you naa?abeg make we enjoy dis match jare...UP BLUES! BLUES 4 LIFE!! roared the anxious crowd.Embarrassed and ashamed,i took my seat in anger as it dawned on me that maybe im just an ordinary fan after all.

Fans of football Manager or Championship manager like my self can easily lay claim to having some managerial experience in the coaching field.My trophy cabinet in Football manager 2010 is so attractive that even Real Madrid would jump at the chance for me to tutor them.2 league titles,3 FA cups,2 league cups and 2 European titles in 8 years for ARSENAL is not a bad feat.If only it could happen in reality i often wished.

In the past few weeks,i could not help both wonder why the current Real Madrid team failed to advance beyond the 2nd round of the champions league.like their predecessors have done in the past few years,they were knocked out of the tournament by an average olympique Lyon team which have caused dark clouds over the era of theGALACTICOS.

Before today,i have never imagined a galaxy of stars playing together in the same team like the Real madrid team boasts of today,only in my pro evolution soccer 10 master league team will i have thought the likes of C.Ronaldo,Benzema,Kaka,Alonso,Raul,Casillas,Higuain and segio Ramos will sport the jersies of a particular team at a certain period of time.on paper,this team should never record a goaless score line,not to talk of being defeated.it is only normal if they win by large margins and embarrase their opponents at will,although that has seize to be the case.

Then i thought to my self,what could be the problem with Real madrid?is it the squad,manager,board tactics or formations.why have they failed to live up to their hype as the galacticos of our time?why have they failed to go beyond the second round of the champions league in recent years?
With all this questions begging for answers,i ask my self these questions,if i was Real Madrid manager today,what will i do,what changes will i make?,who will i sell?,who will i buy?,what formations will i use?what tactics will i apply and what moves will i make.?

so i ask you reading this,as a football Fan and Follower,what will you do if you were appointed the manager of Real madrid today?
CAN YOU BRING BACK THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE TROPHY TO THE SANTIAGO BERNABAU?

my typical secondary school love letter

There are some secondry school memories one can never forget,no matter when ,how ,or where it happend,the memories will forever linger.The love letters written by males and recieved by females could not be easily forgotten.here is a my typical jss3-ss1 love letter.

hope u still remember yours

It is as follows:

"At school, July 10, 1998... My dearest, sweetest, fondest, fantastic, extra-ordinary, paragon of beauty a.k.a sexy bee ,I hope this letter meets you in a fabulous state of metabolism, if so doxology. My principal aim of writing this letter to you is to gravitate your mind towards a matter of global and universal importance, which has been troubling my soul. The matter is so important. Even as I am writing, my adrenalin is 100 per cent on the Richter scale, my temperature is rising, the windvane of my mind is pointing North, South and East at the same time; the mirror in my eyes has only your divine image. Indeed when I sleep, you are the one in my medulla oblongata, and I dream about you. I went out to sea in my dream, and I saw you: surrounded by H20 and you in your majesty rose from the abdomen of the sea like Yemoja, the avatar of beauty. Oh, Lord be with us! We are thy servants.

As you can see, I am in a serious dilemma. And I want you to take my matter seriously. At this junction, what our Lord said on this matter is germane. He says we should ask, and we shall be given, we should seek and we will find, and that we should knock, and it will be opened unto us. I am this 10th day of the seventh month in the year of our Lord, two thousand and 1, asking, seeking and knocking at your door. My prayer is that thou should open so that thy servant can enter. I want to wake up in the morning and see only your face.

I want you to be the only sugar in my tea, the only fly in my ointment, the butter on my bread, the grey matter of my system, the oxygen in my head, the planet of my universe, the wall clock of my room. The conveyor belt of my soul. I pray that you realise the gargantuan nature of my predicament. If you refuse, my life will be like tea without sugar, like a snail without shell, a Xmas goat without a horn; in fact I'd become an orphan. In fact I'd kill myself. What is life if I can't wake up in the morning and behold your face? You model of pulchritude, patiently created by God on a Sunday morning before he went on a deserved holiday. Please Bisola, let me be your Romeo. Make me the Adam to your Eve. Shakespeare said it all: if music be the food of love, play on. I want to emphasise, universally and responsibly, that you are love itself. You are the metaphor, oxymoron, thesis, antithesis, irony, gerund, conjunction and the adverb of love.

At this juncture, let me also say that geography of your body is a permanent allelluia. Not from your body, ammonia, urea and iodine- you are too beautiful for that, what I see in your body is milk and honey. At this juncture, brevity is the soul of wit. A stitch in time saves nine. Procrastination is the thief of time. An opportunity once lost can never be regained. Make hay while the sun shines. All that glitters is not gold. The journey of a thousand years begins with a step. What God has put together let no man put asunder. To be a man is not an easy task even if God's time is the best. But time waits for no one. A man without love is like a fish out of water. I know you are a sagacious girl. If you like the veracity of what I am saying, please fill the attached form and let me have it pronto. The mark at the bottom of this page is a kiss from me to you.

I remain Your beloved, faithful, loyal, One and only admirer."

JAYEOLA aka PAPINGO....jss3E
YELLOW HOUSE,Y3

60 THINGS A LADY WANTS BUT WON’T ASK FOR

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her 1 of your sweatshirts
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?

6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her everywhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.

KEEP READING

11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can't get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking of someone?

16. Always hug her and say hi whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she's beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.

21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car (if any) - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she's your everything - ONLY if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT- so just hug her.
24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE IT AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US

26. DON'T lie to her
27. DON'T cheat on her!
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants

29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at work {or school}, and how much you MISS her.
30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can ALWAYS count on you.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER BECAUSE, IT'S IMPORTANT

31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the CHEEK: (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her LIGHTLY.
35. Don’t EVER tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If she’s upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT


36. When people DISS her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her EYES and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the STARS and put her head on your chest so you can cuddle.
39. When walking next to each other grab her HAND.
40. When you hug her HOLD her in your arms as long as possible

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED

41. Call or text her EVERY night to wish her SWEET DREAMS
42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS remind her how much you love her.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much u love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while sitting on her.
46. Rub her back--feels good
47. Give her your coat if she's cold--that’s always cute
48. Write letters on her back with your finger--feels good ;D
49. Let her sit on your lap
50. DON'T poke her hard...but if you want to mess around just do it lightly.
51. HOLD her HAND in PUBLIC.
52. Even if she looks BAD one day tell her she's BEAUTIFUL
53. Keep conversations flowing...talk about anything usually they just go along with it.
54. If her hair is in her face move it out of her face and then kiss her passionately and gently.
55. Surprisingly sneak up on her and hug her from behind—she loves it.
56. Kiss her in the rain.
57. Pick her up like in The Notebook and kiss her.
58. Slow dance with no music
59. Don't ignore her or be nervous around her--everything is going to be okay.
60. Love her, kiss her, hold her, and you'll be good to go. ; D


ALSO:

News:
1) when a girl keeps looking at you she wants you to kiss her
2.) We want you to call us not us call u
3.)When we say we want a break doesn’t mean we dumped you we just want to see if you desire us as much as we desire u
4.) Just because we dated a lot of guys doesn’t mean we are whores it just means we haven’t found the right guy
5.) When a girl hugs you she wants a real long hug and then a kiss
6.) When it’s raining turn around and kiss us for awhile
7.) Cuddle with us as much as you can
8.) When we are staring out in space we are day dreaming about you
9.) Say a girl is beautiful not hot or sexy beautiful it means a lot more to us
10.) We love to get gifts like teddy bears or flowers it means a lot to us
11.) Sweep us off our feet or do whatever you can and let us know that you REALLY love us
12.) Take us places to meet your friends or just to spend time with us

Now i really wish i could do all these to my girl but im human........its just not possible!

LIFE......AS EASY AS A.B.C...

The events of the past few weeks have got me thinking deeply. Things i don't give second thoughts have suddenly become what i think about everyday and trust me,it gives me goose bumps.

Back in the days,when i was young,i never wondered what death meant,after all people who die always wake up one way or the other according to the cartoons i use to watch back then. Growing up gradually made me think beyond my horizons,then i started viewing death as a feat that is only meant for grown ups and very old people. I lost my father at the age of 2,its amazing i never cried or thought deeply about his loss until i grew older and realized that the father figure in my life has been missing all along and he is surely not coming back soon. The tears i have stubbornly refused to shed was forced to roll down my eyes. It got to a point i almost cried every time i heard my friends use the term "dad" or "father" because that word rarely existed in my dictionary.

Things are quite different now,as i grew older,i came to realize that life is not a bed of roses and good things don't last forever have learn t to always make good use of every opportunity that comes my way because the scenario of a second chance may never come or may be too late when it does. I have learn t that this life is not as hard as we take it because at the end of the day,only one thing is certain and that is DEATH. Muslim or christian,young or old,rich or poor,male or female,pastor or imam,president or slave me or you,only death is guaranteed in this life of ours. Its neither negotiable nor bargain-able,weather we like it or not we are all going to die one day or the other and that day nobody knows!

it is funny how events of a month can help reshape and transform one's concept and thinking about life. In the past month,i have lost a grand aunt,a distant uncle,a rapper and a President all in the space of 2weeks,then i thought,maybe life isn't just worth all the troubles i'm giving it. i'm not older than my grand aunt,neither am i younger than the 23 year old rapper that lost his life in a motor accident,but because death has no respect for age it decided to take the lives of these people regardless of how old or how young they can be. I have been involved in a ghastly motor accident far worse than that which took Dagrins life and yet i came out without a scratch on my body. Then i wonder,who is above death?As rich as the Nigerian president is,death did not only take him away,he died slowly in pains before his demise 3 days ago. Now,if death could be so disrespectful for it to have ignored the status,position and caliber of the Nigerian president,then who the hell am i?

i have always been the very shy and laid back type all my life. I hardly speak my mind and i keep a lot of things to myself. I love postponing things and always believe there is always time for everything,but recently,the opposite has been the case for me. I have decided to change my policy about life and see it from a different perspective. According to the words of 9ice,"i have no fear because life is too sudden. Every second,every minute, people are dying, so let me use my time right"(Banky W.Lagos party Remix.The W experience).life is short so i'm going to use my time right. I intend to use every opportunity i have the right way because who knows,i may not be around tomorrow.

Nobody is guaranteed a tomorrow,today is what we have and it is what shapes our tomorrow .The things we do today decides what happens tomorrow so i intend to make good use of my today since tomorrow remains a mystery to me. I know its kinda hard,but i wish i could live everyday like its my last cause i don't have an extra life and there is no part 2 in life. I never liked thinking about death and what happens after,but i have began to think deeply about these things and it scares the hell out of me. There are loads of things i want to achieve in life but its a pity i don't get to decide if i have the time frame to accomplish them. Like my name"JAYEOLA" implies,i intend to enjoy every bit of my life and do so to the fullest but still i now have in mind that behind a "JAYEOLA" is another "JAYEJEJE".life is so simple i need not take things too hard.

The gospel truth is that,if we die,the worst we get are cries from loved ones,touching face-book statuses and candle light from special ones but the fact remains Life continues. One's death,no matter how important the person is will not put an end to the world,after a few cries and mourning,life goes on and everybody moves on. No 1 will cry forever and neither will those cries wake up the dead,what will be left however is the legacy left behind,the lives that were touched and the impact that are felt by people whose life you and i have touched in one way or the other. your wealth,position or good name means so little or less when we leave this world cause we all came with nothing and will surely leave with nothing.

You only live once, time waits for no one, life goes on, you can be gone in a speed of light, money can't buy life, we came with nothing and we go with absolutely nothing, shine your eyes, live your life to the fullest, aye po gon ,aiye o pe meji, live ur life,and always have at the back of your mind that we're all going one day. Word!!

This is my new approach to life because i have come to realize everything comes to an end and that end remains a mystery because we never know when it will come. Today is what we have so it is better to live it without delay or regrets. Either good or bad,nothing last forever and no matter the situation always remember....LIFE GOES ON!

aiye yi o pe meji....aiye nlooooooo(9ICE ft DAGRIN...LONI NI)

No Be Mistake

MY VALENTINE BLUES

feb 13: 2010
8:48 pm

1 maltesers chocolates;check!
2 red wine;check!
3 victoria secret;check!
4 silk lilac lingerie;check!
5 strawberry;(eat half already,but the little left still looks presentable)check!
6 dj peejay's 100 naija love songs on mp3 cd;check!


so i cross checked her valentine gifts for like the 8th time already to see if all are still intact.my girl will be coming over tomorrow evening, apart from the few strawberries i devoured in a hurry, i was happy all was in check to have a lovely valentines day tomorrow.i looked up at the wall clock and its just 3 minutes after 9pm,i cross checked with the time on my phone and its the same time,DAMN!do we have longer days and shorter nights?cus this time is damn too slow.

i sat in anxiety and wished tommorrow will just come in a hurry,im so going to rock this valentine i said to my self.in order to fritter away time,i started my generator again just to make sure it was in a good working condition.you can never trust my "i better pass my neighbour"its got the tendency to mess up each time i have female visitors,if its not plug today,its the rope that will cut off tomorrow i guess my Gen is just as shy as its owner...satisfied with my generator,i put of the engine and locked it up with chains,dnt blame me but its the only way to keep them away from borrow borrow neighbours.Next was my yoruba movies,my girl had a thing for yoruba movies,she loved them so much she can tell you the whole movie after just looking at the poster!now thats sum talent.so i rented 10 new yoruba movies,although it took me a while to convince the video club guy i was not trying to resell his movies.

so i got home 10:30pm on the dot,the weather was so cool and humid,i prayed silently we have this perfect weather tomorrow.speaking of a perfect weather,i went to my room and lifted my bed up with a smiley face,checking to see if my "STUFF" was still in place,i counted the three packs and asked my self if that was going to be enough for the night,in order not to take chances,i borrowed an extra pack from a friend just in case....it could be a lucky lucky day afterall.


Its 15 minutes to midnight so i picked up my phone to compose that romantic love message to the love of my life.Im a very good composer when it comes to text messaging.If they gave a degree for that,i should be a proffesoor in textology(if there is anything like that).i mean i have the perfect message for everybody and every situation,be it a new catch,a crush,a lecturer,a cheating lover or even sugar momies,my texts always gets them reading over and over again.A friend once asked me to compose a message for her runaway lover who he wants back desperately,after composing the messgage,the lover did not only return home,the guy ended up framing up my text and hung it up his wall till date.I call that Ingenuity!

Was listening to our favourite programme on radio and i was almost through with composing when a wicked thought came to my head,i smiled wickedly and picked up my neighbour's phone,put up a hanky on the mouth piece and dialled my girls number..this was what happened.
RING RING.......RING RING....... RING RING............

GIRL:- hello

ME;- hello,this is Shola Thompson(a popular on air presenter)and this is valentines special on WAZOBIA fm...

GIRL;-awwwwwwwwwwwwww,Shol a its a lieeeeeee....hello Shola?

ME:-hi,we are celebrating the spirit of valentine so you have the golden chance to dedicate a song to the love of your life.so you can dedicate a song to your val tomorrow

GIRl;-thats so cool,i really love you programme and i think you guys are doing a great job.hmmmm....ok,pls play me Banky W's strong thing for Boyfriend,i want him to know he is my heartbeat and i love him till my dying day.

ME:-ok..i got you Banky's strong thing..who is your request going to?
(now im really smilling and adjusting the phone,wanted to hear how 9ice my name was going to sound.)

GIRL;-his name is Bankole Adetayo,pls tell him tunrayo loves him more and more each passing day.
.......................... ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................i paused with my mouth agape,Bankole wetin????.who be Bankole?Animal,Place or Thing?i quickly cut off the line and stood up in akinbo thinking if my mother ever gave me a name called Adetayo or Bankole which i never knew of....trying to console my self,i taught maybe it was a slip of toungue or i did not just hear the name she called right....haaaaa..mo ti daran!Gbese ti pa mi o i sreamed gently not wanting to wake up the sleeping neighbours.

with my body all sweaty and my heart racing in top gear,i walked to the fridge in anger and eat all was remaining of the strawberry,i was on the last berry,vividly furious and chewed to bits about the evil that has just befallen my love life when a text message came in.......

sori d fone went
off,d network is really bad.
in case u did not get d name i just called,
its Bankole Akani Adetayo,play him strong thing by banky
and tell him he remains d only luv of my life.
thanks Shola....


.....LO BA TAAN....APA MI TI JABO OOOOOO