BETWEEN ME AND YOU...

so after many many many many many many many years of pursuing a bachelors degree,i finally rounded up my 'Adult education' few weeks ago(note that 1 "many"= 1yr)....this does not only call for thanksgiving and prayers,it calls for sacrifice sef..cus looking back at the years i spent trying to get a degree,all i have to say is alhamdulilai

I wonder what my greatest joy of completing university education is,Getting a job? getting ready for masters? getting married? Internship?starting business? well,its non of the above cause my greatest joy is that now,i get to avoid the usuall question my mother asks me 5 times daily for 4 yrs..igbawo lo ma se tan gaaan? *when would you graduate from school*?

my mother is the shrewd type,she has canny ways of telling you things and passing messages across to you.for example,if she wants to tell you she is hungry and you should cook or buy something for her to eat,you will hear mama jaye say...oga o,se ebi yi oni pa eyan ba yi,ti mo de bimo repete sile?*na wao,wont this hunger kill me like this,despite all the children i have around me* thats her for you.i remember i had to take pictures of my self in class during a lecture to show my mum cause she stopped believing i was actually in school although she still believes i took that picture in a computer lesson or something.kmt

Getting into university was an arduous task.i write jamb sote,i almost got a free form for the best customer award if i had not passed the final one.i thought jamb was the toughest obstacle i had 2 face before getting an admission into university,but i was wrong when my WAEC result came out with a certain English Language misssing..i find english like sey america dey find osama,English no come o!my mother got so angry and fustrated,i enrolled in 3 different english classes,she stoped me from speaking yoruba in the house and i got a knock on d head for every yoruba movie i saw.she also threatened to buy me a mechanic uniform if i dare fail the next exam...But like the brilliant boy i was ,i believed in my ability,i read and studied hard for that exam and at last i had B3 in english language...mehn that machinery try for me o

Gaining admission was another hurdle to cross,if passing the exam was a yardstick in getting into the university,getting ur name on the admission list was a tougher one.if you see the way we prayed for my name to be on that list,you will feel its a prayer for the whole Nigeria students awaiting admission,mumsy fasted and fasted i had to tell her to take a break if she didnt want our prayer point to change from Education to health issues..i remember she told me once ,Jayeola ,i want you to pray to your God,talk to him,Go naked and tell him to consider the prayer of a virgin and grant your wishes..lmaol..i thought in my head,be like say this woman no want make i go school at all,abi who be virgin?lwkmd

until i graduated recently,my Mum always think we should be in school together because my schooling, to her, is nothing different from an Adult education,so im kinda happy i get to finish at last and fast track my dream of making her a proud mother.I cant wait for the day..I ll tell my mama..stop working Ma..il take care of you nd treat you right...like you rightly deserve

Ramadan is here again,the holy month is one which is compulsory for all Muslims ,hence im also in 'fasting" mode..iv been fasting since i was age 7,although then,i thought it was my mother's way of telling me she was not my biological mother bacause i just couldnt understand why she only fed me once a day..i ate at random and kept forming fasting for her until that tasty time i drink landed me in trouble..i drank tasty time forgetting that my toungue had turned red,my mum asked me what waas on my tongue and i lied stupidly that it was my blood,i actually saw blood that day after serious beating..
PS all i said about my mum stays between me and you o

what else do i want to say oooo....ehn ehn,my Blackberry stuff took a new twist last week sha,my money for curve 2 never complete and Blackberry introduced Blackkberry torch,i mean thats unfair,they should consider does that dont have a Blackberry before introducing new ones,why cant they just wait for every body to own at least a curve first before they bring another one..na wa for these people self..just last week,another friend asked me for ...sorry my Laptop Battery is dead and we dont have light here,il continue my gist in the next blog update

feel free to #gbagaun me o,afterall English is not my mother tongue :p

BACK AT YA !

i know it's been quite a long while i blogged o,so lemme just explain my self b4 ya all castigate me..iv been very busy i swear,been busy reading studying,jacking(not d dirty 1 o) researchs,revisions assignments and all other stuffs u know i can lie about :d

but seriously,writing blogs no be easy thing o..im getting old and there is little this overloaded brain of mine can store..yesterday lasan,it took me correct 48 seconds to spell ordinary "apetizer"i think my brain needs a generator seriously..is dat spelling even correct?

so back to the blogging bruhaha,alot of factors are behind my reasons for not updating my blog often,if my overloaded brain can remember well,my last blog was on "life as easy as ABC"and that was way back after the unfortunate deaths of DAGRIN and YARADUA #RIP..thats quite a looooong time o.dont even be suprised if when u tried opening this page you saw cobwebs,well ,that tells you how much this page af 'taayed'

so back to the blogging bruhaha once again......................................shaet,i think i forgot what i wanted to type again sha,dis brain can like to fall my hand at the 'wrongest' time..smh..well,lets just say the worldcup was a big factor to why my blog almost became extint,besides the fact that im a big football fan and a Gunner 4 that matter,its Africa's world cup 'so they say'so there is this extra bit of excitement about the Mondial which makes even a staunch football hater(E.G my mama) get intrested.

The only thing i hated about the worldcup was anytime Ghana was playing..YES!i hated anytime Ghana was on TV..all dos girls were always snubing me because of that Prince Boateng guy....i beefed that guy seriously o..is he even a real prince sef?psheeeeeew..oshisko!

oh,and i found a new love in twitter,yea im really gbaduing twitter at the moment so facebook can chilax small jaree.im 3 months old on twitter and although i found it hard at first,its been real fun so far.i was off facebook for some months and if a soothsayer had told me i wouldnt update my facebook status in a month,i would have hit his/her head with a vuvuzela and kicked the jabulani right in his/her face..it got so serious,i had phone calls from my friends asking if i was alright cus iv been off facebook for a while..lol..can u imagine?awon oni so lenu....

so sha,iv been tweeting on tweeter and iv got tweeps,twends and twenemies in my tweetfam who re cool tweeple so if you are not on twitter,start tweeting soon or risk tweetjail!(i always knew i could rap..Jor oo)

so the twitter thing brings me to another reason why this blog looks like an old artifact destined for the old museum for very old stuffs..i also read alot of blogs on twitter and all i can say is blog pass blog abegi ..shey dis 1 wey u dey read na blog abi rough-work? i read some blogs on twitter ehn and i felt like deleting my blog ASAP. ..as in i dont even have a blog self,lets just call it a jotter abi roughwork.Reading these blogs made mine look so ordinary..wait 1st,ordinary is even an understatment,it made it look........it made it look.........it made it look.........this my brain sef,it made it look some how sha....*i cant kill my sef jare*

i have read blogs from reputable bloggers of high distinction and class and i felt i should be sent to jail for calling my rubbish a blog too.i read bloggs from @RealistXX,@exschoolnerd,@sandiepandie,@sirscribbles,@dhebbur,@tunrayopoetry,@sheriphskills @deelami and im so sure these tweeps(twitter style) must have read bloggery in school or got a degree in blogamy(dnt borther checking d dictionary cus its not there)ahn ahn,awon eleyi n blog ejo....so calling this rubbish im writing a blog is just an insult on these cool bloggerians...but i know say one day sha,i go make my self proud #thatsall

i hope my reasons have been able to convince you and not confuse you on why i have refused to blog in a long while...in case you dont know sha,my hands are starting to ache me seriously so i have to stop now.....oh,one more thing,i still never buy blackberry o..my "help jaye get a BB trust fund " is still 13000 naira short.sorry i meant 13500 short cus i just rememberd i bought 500 zain card so i can use the internet to update this jotter.my Nokia berry is still working very fine sha so im not missing a BB much,i think im just fine without a BB,who needs a BB sef,that thing is just an overated toy ....see me consoling my self o,i no even dey shame,woooo dont let me lie jaree,i know almost 20 sumtin BBpins of hand and i dont even own a BB...smh..God please shame my enemies and give me a BB biko,this Nokia berry haf tire me and i want to start pinging too and stop using my phone number as my BBpin,i want to stop switching my nokiaberry on silent just because i dont want my friends to hear my nokia tone when my phone rings,i want to stop lying that my BB fell inside the toilet when i dont even have a BB pouch...do this for me baba and il serve you till i die...all these i pray oh lord...do i hear an AMEN somebody?

P.S feel free to #gbagaun me

TwEnTy SuMtIn RaNdOm ThInGs AbOuT ME........................................................

Saturday, 11 April 2009 at 15:24 | Edit note | Delete
1.im a staunchly devoted ARSENAL fan,be it an
allegiance,devotion,loyalty,commitment,addiction,obsession,possesion,dedication,enthusiasm,fervor,faithfulness,steadfastness or fascination.im a GUNNER 4 life#(2)

2.lost my dad at the tender age of 3,sometimes i just have 2 think very very hard to remember the things we did 2gether.....now dnt feel sorry, cus iv bin leaving with it 4 over 2 decades#

3 i love my family so dearly,il do anything 4 them#

4 iv lived d past 12 yrs missing my brother ladi,im keenly anticipating setting my eyes on him soon.i feel so guilty i picked does small fights b4 u travelled,never knew i was goin 2 miss u dis much#

5 i dnt joke with my friends nd im always willing 2 go 2 d extreme 2 please dem#

6 i dont drink alcohol and i dont smoke.i feel im going to sumtime in d future..........ok i like women ,but i dnt womanize.but cum 2 think of it,who doesnt??????#

7 ill die for plantain,be it cooked,half cooked,boiled,fried,roasted,per boiled,ripe,unripe or smoked.ill definately grow a plantain plantation at a point in future#

8 i seldom attend weddings and funerals cus i often end up in tears.they scare d shit outa me#

9 im a pure moslem fom a strict moslem home.i graduated from arabic school at the tender age of 10.#

10 if i was not studying international relations,i would av loved 2 be a farmer.iv got a thing for planting stuffs,like growing plantain....lol#

11 people say im very stubborn,i dont totally agree with dat,although i could be mulish at times....hummm ok most times.sadly enough,the hole in my ear confirms dat.#

13 im a tech guy,i love electronics and gadgets so much.at times i destroy my stuffs just because i want 2 repair dem.i just love fixing stuffs#

14 i joke a lot.i culd be so unserious at times my friends cant tell if im joking or not.#

15 i miss my model college friends all d time.they re my real,true freinds.#

16 im a very very shy person and hardly talk in public,but when im in the midst of my friends,im d crazy guy u tot u knew,dats changing soon cus my gentility has been exploited as a weakness.#

17 im 100% naija.i love my country 2 bits.i still harbour the tots of joining the nigerian army after my degree.call me a patroit....but dont tell my mother!#

18 i suck at mathematics,ill never learn or never want to learn mathematics.not for anything in dis world or d world after.its not just meant for me#

19 im a big fan of kwam1,fergie,dagrin and 9ice.alapomeji..jijiji...chii..chii..chii.ooookayyyy lets go there!#

20 im adventurous and creative.i love trying out new stuffs,even if they aint goin 2 work out,i just try it out.pls dont refer 2 number 11.#

21 i still love my model college sweetheart,she forever remains a big part of me........................what?.......no names!#

22 if i had special powers,il love to make the world a better and peaceful place to live,where we all will be free fom all forms of crises,be it financial,global,food,middle east,oil,religious,climate change,poverty,nd others yet unknown 2 man#

23 i love babies and children so much.although im not in a hurry to make em now.if i was not in skool,i may be running a daycare.#

24 i have learnt never to look down on people cus no body knows 2mrw.no downgrading what so ever.#

25 i love keeping in touch.i enjoy keeping contacts with my friends all over.guess becks,pero and tola can testify 2 that.#

26 as a full blooded lagosian,i still dream of carrying the eyo masquerade sumday.even tho my mum culd end up slaughtering me 4 going against my religion.#

27 i hate dulling environs.i love making things happen.i tend to live up to my name,its a pity i dont drink cus if i did,i knw ill be a drunk 4 sure..#

28 i have mood swings,but i thank GOD its all getting under controll now.#


29 im a twitter jjc but im getting addicted by the second.....im not just feeling facebook anymore jare#



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P.M.B 21090. DOES THIS RING A BELL?

Thursday, 16 July 2009 at 11:34
WAKE UP FOR MORNING DUTY!WAKE UP FOR MORNING DUTY!!WAKE UP FOR MORNING DUTY!!!,I so much hated does words waking me up in the morning for another school day. I always disliked Friday mornings because its the morning between THURSDAY LABOUR and SATURDAY JOGGING. we rarely had MORNING DEVOTION, I mean who had time anyway, the BELL FOR BREAKFAST was going 2 sound soon so no body wanted to waste time on any task. My MORNING DUTY was a fair one, PUSHING THE PIT was far better than working at the PIGGERY or SCRUBBING THE TOILET. Who wants to clean sum1 else's BOGS?. I usually rush through my duty, get to the reservoir to get water and dress up quickly before the breakfast bell. I love sitting on the FRONT ROW so that i can get 2 SERVE THE WHOLE TABLE so you are right if you call me a FOOD MONGER. Its always good getting HEAD OF FISH. On my lucky day, I always eat with the 1ST AND 2ND BATCHES. ....That TIME KEEPER self, he never rings the bell on time!

Was never a fan of the PRINCIPAL’S long boring speeches so I skipped ASSEMBLY regularly, you can find me hiding in the SICK BAY till we marched to the PTA block for the FIRST PERIOD. I was sitting in front of my CRUSH in class so my name was never missing in the NAMES OF NOISE MAKERS, besides the foolish CLASS CAPTAIN never liked me since i never returned his DRAWING BOARD. In CLASS, when young minds are concentrating on d AGAMA STYLED FURTHER MATHS TEACHER, all I was thinking was the BELL FOR BREAKTIME.I was 50 naira rich, but was torn between choices of where to spend my little fortune. Buying MALTINA AND SCOTCH EGG at BAKDOS was for the extravagant and i just dont belong there yet, MODECOM was too far so i couldn’t risk losing all i ate 2 walk back to CLASS was sick and tired of TANDY so QUDEX was not even an option ,and why should i buy AGBALUMO at FRUITY when i can simply pluck it for free at the TURAMPA?.KOKO VILLAGE, RISKY BURGER, BREAD AND PETIT and SHOW RICE were no go areas so those were never options .then I thought i just settle for my favourite MEAT PIE..oh sorry, I meant YAM PIE at the TACTUK.my tactics never failed me here, all i do is stand by the door, and wait for a friend to buy 1 SOLO COKE AND I YAMPIE and keep repeating “CUT SMALL FOR ME” over and over again till I get filled up without spending a kobo. It keeps me agile till the LAST PERIOD.

some times i use to think the TIME KEEPER was fasting because he never rings the BELL FOR FOOD on time! Wish i was the TIME KEEPER, I swear ill always live by the bell. As a regular SERVER in the DINNING HALL, I always had enough to eat even after the daily routine of SCALING OUTSIDE SCHOOL. If I m not in DOWNTOWN buying BEANS BURGER,im at BLESSED eating POUNDED YAM. All i had 2 do was settle BAMBAS at the GATE HOUSE or wait at the RECREATION CENTRE looking for honest DAY STUDENTS to send because they always end up running away with our money I remember I sent one to FAJOL PLAZA d other day to get me a rose and a card for VALENTINE, he never came back with my money or the gift, not until .I later learnt he had changed to MEIRAN COMPREHENSIVE ,damn!, cant wait 2 get that “D” BADGE on my UNIFORM.

Life in the BOYS HOSTEL was never fun, we all look like prisoners in our CHECK SHIRTS and CHINOS. All you hear is LAST JUNIOR everytime,5 SENIORS could be calling LAST JUNIOR at the same time and all we had 2 do was look at for the SENIOR with the smallest BUCKET to run to. Carrying that IRON PAIL from the RESERVOIR was never easy! If you think am joking, ask SEGUN ADEOSUN,its like a MOCK EXAM differentiating his neck from his head.thanks 2 the IRON BUCKET if you are so lucky to escape LAST JUNIOR, you wont escape being sent to look for ARODAN(journey without end) or being told to LIE DOWN FLAT. well except u stayed in the ANNEX of course, even the boys in the NEW HOSTEL never missed out. All we do is hide in the LAUNDRY or COMMON ROOM, we lie gently on our FOAMS ,SOAKING our GARI CAKE, drinking GARIUM, soaking RAW NOODLES with SARDINE or once in a blue moon, Kellogg’s. Kellogg’s was not for everybody, its only for the few, I remember the 1st time i tasted it,I never ate anything else d whole day, wanted 2 cherish that feeling in my stomach 4 ever. GARIUM was d most cherished possession however, especially during SAP.even if sum1 JACKS ur LOCKER,he will rather FAP ur GARIUM,rather than steal ur POCKET MONEY.

EVENING PREP at the USHAPED BLOCK was always fun. I get to read the LOVE LETTER i wrote over and over again. Wrote d letter in 2ND TERM of JS2,its SS1 3RD TERM now and i wonder if im ever going to give her the letter to read. If only she was a BOARDER, we would have met at the LOVE GARRDEN after PREP an maybe I may find the courage 2 give her. I always prefer the WALKWAY by the INTRO TECH LAB, there ,M K and his OPC boys will never catch us. Walking to the HOSTEL after PREP, what usually comes to mind is what 2 buy when you get to the hostel. Hear, you hear MELLOOOO..MASSUNNN ,there, you see boys trooping to STAFF QUATERS 2 buy AYORINDE’S DONUT and SOBO ,if u are d lucky 1,u get 2 watch PRIME TIME JAMS 4 free!. Back in d HOSTEL was always very uneasy, all we waited to hear was LIGHTS OUT but u pray and pray your HOUSE PREFECT does not shout does words you never want to hear, ALL BOYS TO THE COURTYARD! because if you do, you may end up MARRYING THE POLE.

Saturdays was always boring, all we do is WAKE UP FOR JOGGING and CLANING THE HOSTEL like there was an INSPECTION. Who even liked their YAM AND BEANS self, its only the EKO WITH VEGETABLE AND FRIED FISH. we enjoy. Every other thing about Saturdays was just play, play, and play. well except APO was in a good mood to allow us organise SOCIALS. That was always the highpoint of any good Saturday. Who wouldn’t want 2 show off that BUTTERFLY DANCE or the OPEN AND CLOSE STEP to that special girl. We end up in the hostel jisting about who danced with who and who mimed what song. We the HARD GUYS always have d best stories because LEVELS DEY!. At the end of the day, we all sleep off, with most of us sharing the same dream. Sundays BREAD AND EGG!

no be say NA MOI MOI,NO BE SAY NA OLELE,we always look forward to Sundays, I never had WHITE WHITE but i always EAT BREAD AND EGG. I never had a COMPLETE SET OF CUTLERY but seldom miss my JOLLOF RICE and FRIED FISH. I was like a forgotten boy back in school so i don’t get visits on VISITING DAY, but as a good BLENDER,I make sure i eat everyone’s GRUB on that day. Sunday ends up with visiting the BACK OF HOSTEL because i had more than enough to eat on d day.


MEMORIES OF MODEL COLLEGE MEIRAN WILL ALWAYS FOREVER LINGER IN MY HEART,JUST LIKE ANY OTHER MODELITE,I MADE MY BEST FRIENDS AND SOME UNFORGETABLE EXPERIENCES.LIKE MY PHYSICS TEACHER USE TO SAY,“THAT IS JUST THE GOSPEL TRUTH”.

UP SCHOOL !!! UP MODEL!!!

Please note that this story is satirical, my idea was to put together popular model college Meiran slangs and terms into a short story to give the reader a good understanding of the piece.
JAYEOLA PAPINGO ODUNEWU

If u think this is stupid, then u just read it! lol
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